On this page: Frequently asked questions about parenting teens.

Sometimes parenting a teenager can be a lot of fun, exciting, interesting, entertaining and exhausting. But it can also be frustrating, infuriating and scary. Here are some helps.

Is Your Child Depressed?

Depression is usually thought of as a "grown-up" problem, but studies have shown that up to 2.5 percent of young children and 8.3 percent of adolescents in the U.S. suffer from this emotional condition. Left untreated, it can lead to difficulty in school, social problems, and even violence or suicide. How do you know if your child is suffering from depression? What should you do if you're concerned? Tune in to learn what every parent should know about childhood depression.

Video: Is Your Child Depressed? 8 min.

Video: Teen Suicide: Too young to die

Suicide among our nation's youth has increased dramatically over the years, and is now the second leading cause of death in teenagers today. It's a disturbing statistic, but one which every parent should face. What drives children to take their lives? Are there warning signs you can watch out for, and what should you do if you think your child is considering suicide? Join us as we discuss this national crisis.

It can be overwhelming to keep up with all of these advanced technologies. If you haven’t paid enough attention to your teen’s media and technology activities because you don’t understand what they are doing, if you’re intimidated by these new technologies, or you fear intruding on your teen’s privacy, then this “Teens and Technology” section is a must-read.

A good place to start is Digital Technology 101, which provides parents with simple information to help you understand new technologies and monitor your teen’s digital activities in the interest of safety.

Where can you see teenage girls licking beer off the floor, a step-by-step guide to smoking crack, and boys drinking six cups of beer in 10 seconds? Videos like these are just a click away and they're more pervasive than you might think.

As you might have seen on the Today Show, a new National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign study about drug-related videos on popular Web sites reveals:

•    Nearly one in 20 teens viewed drug-related videos online during a one-month period; 35  percent were under age 16 (Nielsen Online Custom Study).
•   Almost 40 percent of drug-related videos contain explicit use of drugs and/or intoxication (Nielsen Online Custom Study).
•    Even the youngest kids have access to dangerous online content. More than 8.9 million two-to 11-year-olds viewed video online in August 2008 (Nielsen Online, Video Census).
•    Nearly a third of students say their parents would disapprove if they knew what they were really doing on the Internet (i-Safe Survey)

Many Web sites offer guidance and advice on how to monitor your teen in the Digital Age. While TheAntiDrug.com provides basic steps on how to monitor certain technologies, other sites offer more specific details. Below is a list of credible, user-friendly sites that can provide you with more information.

Tyra Shocked by Teen Risky Behaviors 

Counseling & Teens

Sometimes it can be hard to deal with all of the changes that happen in life. We don’t care if you’re 13 or 113 years old. If you are having trouble dealing with certain situations or emotions, you might find counseling to be a helpful way of sorting things out. We don’t believe everyone needs counseling and we usually try to use counseling as brief as possible.

Should I go to see a Therapist?

                    Gil Garcia, MSW

If you are thinking about whether counseling could be helpful to you, here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Do you ever feel really sad, frustrated, or lonely?
2. Do you ever feel like you just want to go away?
3. Do you feel especially angry, annoyed, or out-of-control?
4. Do you feel very anxious, worried, or guilty?
5. Have you experienced some major problems at home, at school, or in your neighborhood?
6. Have you noticed some changes in the way you sleep, eat, or think and feel about life?
7. Do you ever think about getting so mad you might hurt somebody or yourself?
8. Do you feel like there is really no one to talk to and really understand.
9. Is it hard for you to talk about these feelings with your family or friends?
10. Are these feelings having a bad effect on your life-are they making your schoolwork and your relationships with family and friends difficult?
11. If there a lot of arguing, fighting and avoiding at home?
12. Do you escape the world as much as possible? (eating, TV, video games, computer, drinking, using, etc.)

If you answered YES to any of these questions, then it may be a good idea for you to talk with a therapist or counselor.  A therapist is an adult who has special training, experience and practice to help people sort through their different feelings and problems. Good therapists also have some real life experience with problems too. People go to counseling for lots of reasons.

Sometimes parents will "make" their son or daughter go to counseling. This can be very embarrassing and hard. We understand! Of course, they mean well, but they often don’t know what else to do.

So, we usually try to make the best of the situation. Usually most parents are just really, really worried about their kid or they are really really mad at you. So, that means we spend time with you and we spend time with your parents to help them deal with their fears, worries, anger and frustrations.

Counseling can help you to understand your feelings and problems and learn how to deal with these feelings and problems in your everyday life. Counseling takes place in a completely confidential or private setting. Confidential means that the therapist cannot tell anyone, not even your parents, about what the two of you talk about together, unless you are a danger to yourself or others, abused or neglected, or under 18 years old.

What goes on?

We have three basic rules.

1. You never HAVE TO talk about anything you don’t want to talk about.
2. You never HAVE TO do anything we suggest.
3. You never have to ask permission to go to the bathroom. You can’t believe how many people are so polite, they don’t interrupt the conversation and really have to go! :)
   

Seriously, when you talk with a counselor, you get a chance to talk about anything that is on your mind. I will listen to you and not judge you. I will not get mad at you, lecture you, scold you, tell you things you have already heard a million times. You can talk about more serious things some of the time and you can talk about less serious things at other times. I like to listen to serious problems, but I also like to get to know people and laugh about stuff too.

When you decide to start talking we’ll get to know each other pretty well. I ask people to call me, “Gil.” It may take time to build a relationship but many times the kids I talk to relax and talk in the very first session. It really helps not to have one of the parents in the room to do this. So, I usually talk to you first and later with your parent or parents. Sometimes they need more help for lots of reasons. After all, raising a teenager isn't that easy.

I should say it's hard to tell on the first session if you feel comfortable enough to talk about things that are important to you. Give it a chance. If after a few visits you still don't feel okay about talking, you should me know or your mom or dad. Most likely you will have a chance to choose another therapist. It might take a few tries to find a counselor that you like, but don't give up! Since you will be talking about sensitive issues, you deserve to have a therapist who you feel totally safe and comfortable with.

What kinds of questions will I ask you?

At the first visit, I might ask many questions about your life and how you've been feeling during the past year. I may just want to get to know you as a person, not just the problem.

On the other hand, you may be ready to talk and I listen and take notes. I take notes only to remember what we talked about. I will need you to bring your parent(s) or guardian(s) with you on the first visit. The type of help you are offered will depend on what you tell me. Teenagers often bring their family members to some of their counseling sessions to help improve their family relationships. I have met with families as large as 8 people and sometimes I go to their home to make it more relaxed for everyone.

How long will counseling last?

Counseling lasts different periods of time for different people. I always try to work with you to decide how counseling sessions will fit into your schedule. We might meet once a week for as little as 30 minutes or as long as 60 minutes. Sometimes you might want to meet more often (2 or more days per week) or less often (every two weeks). I believe in "brief therapy" and usually use a certain type of therapy (CBT: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to help people think differently about their situation. This therapy is very helpful and most kids catch on very quickly.